BREAKING NEWS! Comedian Eleanor Conway lost her virginity at 7PM on Monday, February 28th at The Kraine Theatre in Manhattan!  And yes, Virginia, she broke her cherry in front of a crowd of rowdy strangers.  But let’s be more specific: This was the London native’s first show ever in the United States and her first time in New York City.  Named Vaxxed & Waxxed, Conway’s critically acclaimed solo (unless you count her vagina, named “Jenny”…) piece was energetic, edgy, and even educational.  Hey, in between the deliciously raunchy anecdotes, I actually learned a few things.  Before Vaxxed & Waxxed, I had never heard of “The Period Dance” (which Conway practically makes a show within a show!) and never knew that there was a “Tinder GOLD” (For those who actually want to PAY for humiliation and disappointment…).  Running as part of the Frigid Festival, Vaxxed & Waxxed is definitely NOT for the faint of heart: If you’re the kind of audience member who gets a palpitation every time the “C” word is mentioned, you may want to bring your therapy animal BFF to the theater with you for support.  But for those who yelled out “Mine too!” when Conway proclaims, “Some of my best friends are cunts!”, then bring your flask and play the “Vaxxed & Waxxed Drinking Game”: one shot for every time we hear “cunt”.  Better yet, have your therapy animal BFF take a shot every time Conway talks about “clit”… and see who passes out first. Conway, cunts, and clits… oh my!

Conway warmed up the crowd by sharing her first impressions of our belovedly dirty, expensive New York City.  She declared, “Being in New York is like being on a cocaine bender!” and added, “Everyone want to be in on it, but not everybody can afford to do it properly.”  She expressed her desire to do “tourist things” while in town, including Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, and… sleeping with a Republican: “This is a Democratic liberal city.  What could be more liberal than fucking a minority?… I wanna feel regret again.  I miss it!”  While we’re on the subject…  Hot-to-trot and single, Conway shares her personal philosophies and real-life anecdotes on all things dating and sex, not necessarily in that order, and throws in her own unique takes on marriage and motherhood as well. Just wait until you hear her analysis on men’s profile pics on dating apps (Ouch!).  Some of her real-life stories get pretty… uhm, “descriptive”!  One of the guys from her stories is named “Stinky Cock”, and when Conway says, “The reason I called him ‘Stinky Cock’…”, my first instinct was to yell out, “I think we already know!” The moral of the story is, according to Eleanor, “If you go to a restaurant and have to check the kitchen first, you probably shouldn’t eat there!” But just when you think it’s safe to go back into the pub, Conway has yet another hilarious story for you…

In case you haven’t guessed by now, Vaxxed & Waxxed is non-stop, machine-gun style humor from the point of view of a female performer with no filter.  Yes, kids, Conway’s no-holes-barred style is a reminder that comedy is supposed to shock and provoke, as well as to make us laugh. In the show’s one hour running time, Conway never misses a beat with her endless arsenal of one-liners… even if she occasionally has to explain British slang (Wanking – definition of wanking by The Free Dictionary  You’re welcome…) You may need to be vaxxed to see Conway’s show at the Kraine Theatre, but you don’t need to be waxed: Eleanor Conway’s show is guaranteed to shock and delight, whether your shaved, trimmed, lasered, “early 80’s”, or whether your genitals have been on lockdown since March 2020…

Vaxxed & Waxxed continues Thursday, March 3 at 10:30PM; Friday, March 4 at 8:15PM; and Saturday, March 5 at 8:15PM at The Kraine Theatre. The Kraine Theatre is located at 85 East 4th Street, between 2nd Avenue and Bowery – accessible from F to 2nd Avenue, 6 to Bleecker, B/D/M to Broadway Lafayette. Running time: 60 minutes. Tickets are $12 – $20, available at https://biturl.top/6fYRne.