THE SHORT SHORTS CHRONICLES, Part 1
MMA Fighter Dennis Hallman’s Wardrobe Malfunction

“Hallman really showed some BALLS that night!”
“ He went NUTS!”
“Yes, he really is a BALLS-OUT fighter!”

Along with cowboys, rugby players, and leathermen, the men of mixed martial arts (MMA) are considered to be among the last bastions of masculinity in this day and age. To state the obvious, the boys who compete in these full contact combat sports are required to be in top physical shape. Apparently, MMA fighter Dennis Hallman (His nickname is “Superman”. Check out his choice of undies for the UFC 123 weigh-in down below…) isn’t shy about showing off his assets, including the family jewels. In a story that’s gonna “stick out” in MMA history for a while, the 35-year old former state champion wrestler wore a skimpy, violet-colored pair of briefs which left little to the imagination when facing Brian Ebersole on August 6, 2011 at UFC 133. Hallman’s left testicle was briefly (ahem…) exposed, reportedly eliciting chants of “Put some clothes on!” from the crowd and irking the UFC President Dana White. White was reportedly so incensed at the short shorts (“I’ve never been so embarrassed being in the UFC.”) that he supposedly awarded Ebersole a whopping $70,000 for getting Hallman– and those short shorts– away from the sight of the TV audience as soon as possible. He even hinted about firing the welterweight Hallman. After all, this is MMA… not pro wrestling, where the more outrageous costumes and antics are looked upon more positively. Hallman’s banana hammock caused a field day in the world of sports journalism, and led one writer to entitle an article, “Dennis Hallman’s Short Shorts Inducted into ESPN’s Pantheon of ‘Worst Looks in Sports History‘”. Hallman later stated that his choice of brief briefs was for losing some kind of bet. Looks like his loss was a gain for lovers of the male physique…

As, ahem “fallout” from the incident, UFC Prez Dana White may even impose new restrictions on how “skimpy” the MMA bottomwear can be. I say, “Hell no!” As a bona fide American, I believe in the right to bare arms… or any other body part you wish. In that infamous match, Hallman lost the fight via TKO in the first round. But look at all the new fans he gained!