When thinking about the titillating gimmick of the new musical horror-comedy Teeth, I can’t help but wonder if there was similar buzz going on in the streets of vintage New York City in 1972, when audiences were pulled into adult theaters for the groundbreaking sex film Deep Throat…

“Did you hear about the movie where a woman has a CLITORIS in her THROAT?”

Fast forward to 2024, and now the word on the street may be…

“Did you hear about the play where a girl has TEETH in her VAGINA?”

Yes, you read that correctly.  Based on the 2007 cult horror comedy film of the same name written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, the musical Teeth, directed by Sarah Benson, brings the ancient mythology of “vagina dentata” into our modern culture, with a virginal teen girl named Dawn O’Keefe (Played by Helen J. Shen on the Wednesday, April 3rd performance) inheriting the condition.  But despite the wince-inducing central theme and elements of the supernatural, Teeth is first and foremost a comedy.  Early on, we do hear the anecdote about how Brad (Will Connolly) injured his finger during an incestuous encounter with his own stepsister (Two guesses won’t be necessary as to how it happened…). This not only colors his views on women in general, but gives him an axe to grind that lasts right until the play’s spectacular climax.  That said, it’s actually almost an hour into the play before the very first “decockitation” takes place. Until then, Teeth will likely pose a very different type of risk– for its audience.  That risk is death by laughter.  The hilarity starts immediately, when the audience gets to eavesdrop on a meeting of the Promise Keepers, a religious youth group in a town called Eden(!), which promotes “female empowerment through sexual purity”.   The girls aim to “be good” rather than “feel good”, even singing about it in the opening number Precious Gift. The boys, meanwhile, fear the rising of a “feminocracy” (One of the characters declares, “The weaker sex has weakened us and cut us down to size!”)  and ascribe to the theories of the Truth Seekers, which turns exaggerated notions of manhood into a commodifiable and sellable cult.  Adding to the humor is the fact that these characters, eerily and accurately based on real-life figures, are CLEARLY taking things seriously; Oblivious to the onlookers outside their bubble, they have no idea how funny they are. The miseducation, sexual and otherwise, is led by an over-the-top and sadistic Pastor (Steven Pasquale), who just happens to be the father of the aforementioned Brad and stepfather of Dawn.

Despite the characters’ idealization of virginity, lust does break through, and jock Tobey (Jason Gotay) becomes the first victim of “coitus interruptus” in the worst way.  An audible gasp was heard by the audience– well, about half of them anyway.  (Ouch!)  Dawn seeks temporary comfort in Ryan (Jared Loftin), a gay boy who suffers from internal homophobia; that said, his suffering manifests itself into a musical showstopper named Born Again.  (I can safely say that Teeth is the first musical to feature the lyrics “Creampie anal queen”.)  Ryan “altruistically” agrees to have sex with Dawn to help her rid herself of her toothy condition… and, for a while, we are convinced that our heroine is “cured”.  Unfortunately, Ryan turns out to be like all the other men in the play.  Let’s just say that Dawn’s retaliation on the penises men who take advantage of her will make “Carrie”‘s revenge seem as tame as the teenage girls’ “get even” plot in the 2006 comedy John Tucker Must Die.  The grand finale is a (ahem…) no-holes-barred, all-out extravaganza of excess.

Every lyric, every stage movement (The choreography is by Raja Feather Kelly.), and every bit of wordless acting from the large cast shows the comedic talents of the playwright, director, cast, and crew.  The deliciously dirty book and lyrics, by Michael R. Jackson; and book and music by Anna K. Jacobs, are no less than priceless. (One song manages to rhyme “modest” with “hottest”, and the audience seemingly exploded with laughter.) Despite the larger-than-life elements, there are some very serious themes explored in Teeth, including but not limited to misogyny, problematic notions of masculinity, child abuse, religious fanaticism/hypocrisy, and sexual consent.  The cast is universally excellent, with the actors being particularly adept at playing teenagers. In the lead role of Dawn, Helen J. Shen is a revelation; she can REALLY hit those impressive notes in her solo numbers.  Steven Pasquale, who plays Pastor, also gets to play the ill-fated gynecologist Dr. Godfrey, whose solo number is Girls Like You.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the audience LOVED this number.  The song and performance is the 2000’s equivalent of Dentist! from Little Shop of Horrors.  Hey, shouldn’t gynecologists have a campy song to cement in pop culture too? 

Teeth. Go on, take a bite!

Teeth continues through Sunday, April 28th at Playwright Horizons Theater, 416 west 42nd Street, NYC.  Visit Teeth | Playwrights Horizons for tickets and more information. 

(Photos by Lady Clover Honey.)