“It’s all about ME tonight!”

For drag star Miss Jackie Beat, that’s a great thing!  Having been a performer for 37 years, she has earned her bragging rights.  As the “World’s Biggest Bitch” made clear on the evening of Thursday, July 30th, Jackie (Not to get so formal so fast, but “Ms. Beat” just doesn’t quite sound right…) can more than hold her own at a legendary New York City performance venue like The Cutting Room.  But what was Jackie Beat’s message tonight?  Was she a kinder, gentler queen who would tell only family-friendly jokes, offer a bittersweet reflection on life as a renegade artist for over three decades, and apologize for having used the wrong pronouns or using words like “retarded” and “tranny” in her many live shows through the years?

Yeah, right! Remember, this was the performer who has written material for such fellow bad girls as Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho, and (Gasp!) Roseanne.  Our Jackie is a pro at that old school, take-no-prisoners, raunchy sense of humor which is sadly missing from a lot of today’s drag as the art form has become so “mainstream”, for better or for worse. Jackie had a song for that particular phenomenon too, which was actually a VERY poignant and provocative moment in a night full of dick and poop jokes (Not that this audience of hardcore Jackie fans was complaining…). To add to the excitement of the evening, it was Jackie’s birthday.  I won’t say how old she is, but I WILL say that she is the same age as Johnny Depp, Demi Moore, and Lisa Kudrow (Google that.)… Not that any of those three performers could ever be cool enough to get on stage and sing a song about…  acrotomophilia! (Google that too…) Of course, some things HAVE changed in her evolution as drag artist.  Jackie now confesses to wearing (Gasp!) flats, although she astutely declared that if the audience is paying more attention to your feet rather than your act itself, then sister, you just may be doing something wrong!  The audience applauded in agreement.  

But of course, most things haven’t changed– and thank Lillith for that!  This queen still sings in her own voice, and occasionally even hits that impressive note that gets the audience to applaud.  There were her dirty song parodies: The Year of the Cat became The Year I Got Fat, and a song named Mudslide, based on a Fleetwood Mac song, was dedicated to the current, uhm… “lettuce situation”:

“I ordered a salad and I took one bite, Next thing you know I had a parasite!”

 …and of course, there were her jokes about celebrities and modern gay culture.  Some of the targets of her verbal torpedoes throughout the night included J-Lo, Palm Springs, guys who wear grey sweatpants without underwear, death drops, and her fellow drag sisters Sherry Vine and Lady Bunny.  Her joke about Madonna so subtle that only the most astute of poop pop culture fiends (Like me!) would have picked it up.  One of her biggest targets was RuPaul… but, without saying too much, Jackie Beat has valid reasons for her cynicism.  But there were some serious moments in the show as well: Jackie recalls the true story about how an innocent day at the mall with her fellow drag friends became a serious injury.  How did she cope with that tragedy?  Well, she wrote a song about it!  That song was Blood on an Elevator, set to the Aerosmith song… well, you know.  (In case you haven’t guessed by now, Jackie has an affinity for the songs of the 80’s!)  Let’s hope that Jackie finds justice and emerges triumphant: In her own words, “You can’t kill Jackie Beat!”

Like so many other queens, Jackie isn’t above making fun of herself in her act; in fact, it’s a major part of her, as the kiddies say, “brand”.  But there’s a reason why she remains such a popular entertainer.  Her parody lyrics may be dirtier than the floor of a 90’s New York City gay bar backroom, but they are also amazingly funny and clever.  So, I can forgive her for parodying my favorite Heart song of all time.  And don’t expect Jackie to retire any time soon. As the queen declared, “If I have to bejewel a wheelchair and have them build a fucking ramp, I’ll do it!”  I personally volunteer to lubricate her wheels…!

See more upcoming live dates at www.MissJackieBeat.com.