A BACHELOR “COMING OUT” PARTY?

Whether we admit our guilty pleasures or not, it’s a fact that Americans love “The Bachelor”.  It’s a safe bet to assume that a LOT of people will be tuning in this Monday to see the season finale of one of TV’s most popular reality shows.  Who will be the, ahem… “lucky” woman?  Well, some culture vultures have opined that Jake Pavelka, America’s most emblematic single guy, may actually be looking for Mister— not Ms.– Right.   A commercial pilot who was a minor actor (going by the name of “Jake Landrum”) before his current TV fame, some of the tabloids (Like “In Touch”) as well as gossip bloggers have supported the theory of Jake’s possible gayness.  The “proof” they offer is: (1) the star’s social awkwardness and lack of social skill with the opposite sex, including his inability to look a woman directly in the eyes; (2) his tendency to start crying on the show a little too easily; (3) the fact that he’s too “good-looking” to be single this long; and — here’s the killer– that (4) he always backs away from a kiss too soon when he’s lip-locked with one of the contestants.  Some have even speculated that biggest surprise this Monday won’t be whether the 32-year old stud picks Tenley or Vienna, but rather if the self-described “good Christian boy from Texas” (the kind that are so easy to corrupt…) will actually come out on the show.

While it’s tittilating to think that the hunky Pavelka may be playing for The Pink Team, the “evidence” that some gossip queens are questioning Jake’s sexuality are pretty flimsy.  Now, it IS true that straight guys kiss their women (and their men) like they’re sucking the life right out from them, not like a lizard flicking out its tongue.  However, even that’s not much evidence to label Jake a “confirmed bachelor”. (For all the kiddies out there, that’s 1950’s code for “big old queer.”)   But hey, you never know.  On the show’s official website, Jake has stated that he “longs to find that special someone who is intelligent, confident, energetic and spontaneous. He wants a best friend and soul mate.”  But maybe instead of a Gia or an Ali, he should be looking for a Geo or an Ari.  And how about the idea of “The Bachelor” coming out on his own show?  It could either make a laughing stock out of both ABC and the popular series (as well as millions of the show’s female fans), or make this season’s finale of “The Bachelor” the most talked-about, queer-alicious hot topic for days to come.  Or, maybe both.  One things for sure: It would definitely help the handsome Mr. Pavelka squeeze a 16th minute of fame from the “Bachelor” experience.  By the way, when asked about his underwear preference, Jake has told reporter Chris Balish that it’s either “boxers or nothing”.  Just thought you’d like to know that…